Learning how to parent children through a divorce is certainly not something I had ever considered until I was faced with it. I understand every divorce is different, for different reasons, and with different results. This post is not meant to be a broad “how to” but simply a few things I have learned, and am continuing to learn, on how to parent through this long arduous process. My situation may be unique and my experiences may not apply to most, but I feel sharing in this format has been helpful with my healing process as well.
This video below is something I think EVERY parent in this situation should see. I watched it nearly every day for months as a reminder to filter my every action through biblical principals and the question, “how will this affect my kids”. Whether you are in the midst of a divorce, have gone through this in the past, or have ever had a thought of a divorce…please take a few minutes and watch this.
First, we all know that a primary rule of should be to “never bad mouth the other parent to the kids”. I could not agree more. However, if the other parent is taking actions that are contrary to Biblical principals how do we address this with our kids? When does this passiveness become condoning a lifestyle or choices contrary to God’s design? I have been brought back to this passage repeatedly when contemplating this subject:
Proverbs 22:6 New International Version (NIV)
6 Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Dr. James Dobson says it very well here…
For my children, they were raised in a Christian home and brought up to respect the ties of marriage as well as “purity” in their hearts. I pray that they will not turn from it regardless of the examples they see around them in the world or even in their own family. It is not my job to point out where others are falling short… Lord knows I have had, and continue to have, plenty of my own issues to work on as well. Which also leads me to my second point, own your piece of the problem.